(Video by Bald Punk – Music by Edwin Starr)

From far and wide we had a meeting of the minds tonight. Me, my lady friend, and the pizza and Chinese delivery guys journeyed from the edges of the known universe to be together.

I came from South Ferry where I was already working. My lady friend came from her job. She’s the bread winner is all I can tell you. Where she works??? I won’t say . . .  But I’m man enough to admit she brings home the bacon. It don’t bother me. Because as you already know I’m El Senor! I’m el muchacho!

Aye papi!

Otherwise, all I’ll say about my lady friend’s job is that it’s in NYC. Which, duh!!! When you live in Manhattan, you never want to leave, especially for work.

And the pizza and Chinese delivery guys came from uptown to meet us by way of outer space. Those guys are whacked!

We all met at a deli in South Ferry, bought beer, chips, and huge-mofo heros piled high with meat. Then we dined on the Staten Island Ferry. (It’s really the ferry to Manhattan, but we won’t get into that.)

Because I’m always thinking about you, I brought my video camera. It was a good thing, too. But I’m not going to give you a long rambling story about what happened. This is it—

I downed a few bevos, and was ready to dig into my HUGE-mofo hero when all of a sudden an armed Coast Guard boat pulled up alongside us. The guy on the bow was manning a MACHINE GUN! See it in the video!

I looked at my sandwich, very long and hard I might add – then I thought about you! I really did.

Might I add that the hero was a work of art. I had to hold it in both hand, while also propping part of it up on my forearm. Ed Norton was smiling down on me.

Speaking of ART, see these related posts:  I am MOMA!   and  Starry-Eyed Bald Punk

Damn!!! What a hero!

But I set it down, went outside, and flipped on my Alfred Hitchcock hat and went to work.

As you can see by the video, I didn’t forgo beer while I filmed.

Also, my lady friend was freaking out over the fact that we were being shadowed by the Coast Guard. The guy was manning a machine gun!!! I said that already, I know.

Every time a boat came near us, the Coast Guard sped ahead and circled out to them. Oh! For what it’s worth, the ferry we were on was the John F. Kennedy.

(John F. Kennedy in PT Boat 109)

When one of the deck hands came passing by, sweeping up gum wrappers, I used a Jedi mind trick, and told him: “This is a Coast Guard photo shoot, right?” He looked at me, and then at my lady friend, and I repeated myself. He nodded.

Check out the video at the top! The music is Edwin Starr’s War, (What is it Good For?).

Finally, and most importantly, thanks to the Coast Guard for all you do for NYC!!! You guys are totally punk rock!

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