We’re on a Road Trip to Home Depot (Secrets Interlude)
(Photo by Bald Punk – Columbus Circle from Central Park South – click to expand)
I promise over the weekend to take you one step deeper into the darkest secrets New York has to offer. I’ve been thinking about where to go next, and it came to me moments ago–
Me and you got to go back in time! Ok mofo. Hope you’re ready. I figure a few hundred years or so should do it.
This is the evolution of SECRETS OF NY starting with the first post:
BALD PUNK’S TV SHOW PREP – July 2009
Episode Thirteen – July 2009 (Bald Punk’s Secrets of NY)
Episode Fourteen – August 2009
I want you to know — NYC doesn’t give up its secrets all that easily, especially the dark ones. I’ll do my best.
Btw, can you believe The New York Historical Society is CLOSED for the summer! They’re doing renovations or some shit. They were closed just a few years ago by a fire or something . . . Hmmm. Anyway, the place rocks, big-time! I can’t wait to get my greasy paws all over their goods in September when they throw open their doors again to slumdogs like muah.
(Photo by Bald Punk – The New York Historical Society – click to expand)
Oh!!! Right now we’re in traffic on the FDR, headed for the Brooklyn Bridge. I’m typing on “my” brand new laptop. I got it at one of those big electronic stores last week. I will be paying for it along with my new video camera for quite some time.
Oh!!! Oh!!! The pizza delivery guy is driving!!!!!!
Yes, you heard that right. That’s why me and my lady friend (she would never admit to this) are in the back seat of our car.
You gotta see the pizza and Chinese delivery guys(aka num and nuts). I feel like I’m being chaffered by parakeets. That’s all I’ll say. They-are-whacked!
The pizza delivery guy drives okay so long as nobody honks a horn or does something stupid. My biggest fear is that if like a stupid dog or a cat runs in front of us, he’ll turn into on-coming traffic or straight into a pole. A little old lady he would mow down because he’s whacked, plain and simple.
But a dog or a cat–golden idols.
(Photo by Bald Punk – Central Park West at New York Historical Society – click to expand)
My lady friend is holding my dog, Scrappy Doodles. His butt is in her face ’cause, he’s scoping shit out the window. He’s the smartest dog ever. I bet he sees shit even people don’t. If he could drive, I would trust him before you know who.
These are the posts in which Scrappy D first appeared:
Episode Nine: June 2009 (Banned in the UK/Ratdog/THE VIRGIN KING)
THE VIRGIN KING (Three Chapters of Novel)
Introducing Scrappy Doodles (To be continued???)
I swear, after the doctor smacked num and nuts on the ass he had to turn to their moms and say, your son is whacked!
Okay, so this weekend–big-time SECRETS will be coming your way. But be forewarned–
We see things in NYC that would blow your mind. What’s underneath it all . . . I haven’t gotten that far yet. I don’t have the absolute truth. All I have is more mystery.
P.S. We take Scrappy into Home Depot with us. He’s the coolest dog ever. I have a jacket that I hide him in. The employees don’t seem to mind anyway.
P.P.S.S. We’re going to the Home Depot in Park Slope. We live in uptown Manhattan.
(Photo by Bald Punk – San Remo on Central Park West – click to expand)
Here are all the posts in this series: Episode Fourteen – August 2009