BALD PUNK’S SECRETS OF NYC
There’s this show on NYC TV titled Secrets of New York. They tell you all these little known tidbits. Stuff like we have tunnels under the city that are dark, abandoned, and spooky. It’s scary shit if you think about it.
It’s the one show that me, my lady friend, and the pizza and Chinese delivery guys(aka num and nuts) all like. Though those guys only watch it because they like the host, Kelly Choi. She’s a beautiful Korean woman who wears a lot of makeup and a shiny overcoat. Whenever she’s on screen, they get real quiet, as if she’s talking to them.
(Kelly Choi in Times Square. She’s also the host of Bravo’s Top Chef Masters)
If you live in NYC and haven’t seen the show or the station, you should check it out. It’s the best channel on TV. It’s right up there with the Yankees’ YES Network.
Another great program they have is NY NOISE. The show has wild music videos though sometimes they are so whacked out they leave you scratching your head, wondering if you’re watching a MOMA art exhibit of something that might be called “Evolutionary Song and Picture.”
(NY NOISE is where I discover M83 – They rock!)
The one program I don’t like on the station is Video Fashion. Though I watch it sometimes with morbid curiosity like the way someone does Running With The Bulls. The models on the program are stick-thin and seem very unhappy. It’s terrible.
The designers require that all these girls be skinny as clothes hangers. You see bones pushing through the outfits, and breastbones that are bigger than boobs. There’s no way a human can be that thin without starvation, bulimia, or addiction.
What am I missing here?
Why when you design clothes to celebrate the female form would you also want to destroy it?
Is there ART in the emaciated, deprived female form?
In my opinion, if you’re a parent of one of these models–hint, HINT!!! Your daughter has a big f—king problem.
Now I’m depressed. Thanks NYC TV!
You should see all the curves on my lady friend. Those designers would say she was a fat slob, and maybe they might be right. At least she’s in no danger of dying from malnourishment.
(Woman at Jean-Paul Gaultier fashion show)
Did you know chubby ladies enjoy sex more. That’s a fact. I heard it on the radio.
Where the hell am I going with this . . .
Bald Punk’s Secrets of NYC, the “soon to be TV show.” Okay, I’m throwing down the gauntlet. It’s me vs. NYC TV. It’s Bald Punk vs. Kelly Choi!
Right now num and nuts are staring at me, sort of the way your dog does when he wants to go for a walk. “You bastards are rooting for Kelly.”
They are nodding.
(Kelly is cute and a fun host. I might root for her, too)
Anyway, my secrets will make you go whoop! whoop! I’m looking forward to sharing at least one big secret along with some other interesting NYC related stuff.
I will post them soon. But for now, my first secret is how a TV station run by the City of NY turns its cheek in the name of entertainment–to young women who are being exploited.
P.S. I hope my secrets of NYC are better than Kelly’s. She’s real good at finding crazy stuff.
Update: Here are the next three posts: Episode Thirteen – July 2009 (Bald Punk’s Secrets of NY)